Lots to Look Forward To!

The weather's been great here, almost like SoCal weather and the dogs and I have been soaking it up. With lots of doggie activities coming up it's helped keep my mind off sad things and focusing into the future and exciting things.
First up: an obedience fun match on Sunday. Moto is entered in both Utility and Open. This will be his first time EVER in a Utility fun match. He's been doing fantastic in our back yard; it will be interesting to see how he does somewhere other than the safety of his yard. We'll backchain quite a bit there as the goal here is confidence-building. But I have to say he finally seems to be "getting it" in terms of his obedience work. We may not do Open, depending upon how he does in Utility. If he does really really well and tries super-hard, we may just call it a day and go home. We'll see.
Pinch continues to challenge me in heeling. The little bugger is just SO excited to work and wants to do things really really fast and heeling is WALKING dag nab it and he has to be beside me instead of walking sideways. Wow. I know it will be spectacular once he gets it, but I still struggle with the "get it" part.
Next my friend Laurie from CA arrives some time next week. Lots of doggie activities planned: bringing her to Renee's Open class, taking her out to my herding instructor to instinct test her dogs, coming with me to Pinch's puppy class and renting rings and training together. I can't wait. She's as obsessed as I am with the sport and it's wonderful to talk endlessly about all the minute technical stuff we find so fascinating.
And again, the weather is supposed to be great while she is here, so a good time should be had by all!

Finding My Feet

Since I last wrote I've been trying to get back to my normal schedule. I've learned that being happy takes some effort but it is paying off: if you act happy (please note I'm not saying Pretend - big difference)happiness does come to you. Hubby is calmer and most notable is Moto's countenance. He's brighter when training with me and all the creatures, both two and four-legged are much happier. Happiness begets happiness so we are on an upward trend.
This weekend is a fun match and I've got Moto entered in Utility for the very first time. We haven't trained much in utility so it will be a way scaled back version but he is really enjoying his utility work. If this trend continues I may try to debut him in Novice spring of next year. Still not expecting much in Novice, not in Open either, I'm just waiting to get him into Utility to see what he is capable of.
Pinch continues learning at warp speed. Heeling is something he still doesn't have much of a concept about. Of all the dogs I've trained he's the one giving me the most problem when it comes to how to teach heeling - can't seem to find which way clicks with him. I'll continue to experiment with various strategies to see which method conveys what I want. For now it's quite clear he hasn't a clue what I'm asking of him.
Day by day I'm getting control back into my life - the house is clean again, the dog's grooming schedule is getting back on track (though they badly need a bath) and I'm keeping up with the paperwork from my business and volunteer organizations.
It's nighttime when it's the hardest. Waking up 3:00 a.m. and images still haunt me. The one that elicits the most emotion is when I saw my sister for the first time when I arrived in CA prior to Barry's passing. I was prepared for Barry's condition and how he would look but seeing my sister - her eyes swollen from crying and grief in every fibre of her being that tore me to pieces. But she's doing everything right to help herself get on with life and I'm so very proud of her. Because she is going on and doing such a good job of it, I'm able to as well.
And the weather is gorgeous. It's hard to be sad when the skies are beautiful and the dogs beckon you to come outside for a good came of ball.

It's Still A Fight

Returning to a new normal takes a lot of effort, I'm discovering. My husband said this morning he hasn't seen me smile or laugh since the grandkids left. Wow, not good. He's really good at letting me know when I'm off the mark in our relationship, and my sadness has been wearing on him. He said I'm always saying how tired I am, too. I guess I better listen to myself. Depression does make for lack of sleep and heck yes I AM tired. But seriously, I need to make life a little easier for my hubby, who has been kind and supportive through all our recent upheavals. So I need to exercise patience and tolerance, try to smile more, hug more, and appreciate what I have. I'm richly blessed and even though it's been a rough patch, I really and truly have a LOT to be thankful for.
Had a wonderful doggie weekend which is always a nice diversion. An obedience and conformation fun match on Saturday. I was thrilled with Moto in Open and Novice. We're still far from show-ready but he's making huge strides in his attitude. Most impressive were the Novice stays. He was scared of the stewards in the next ring who were ripping duct tape off the floor, lifting and re-arranging mats. He started to get up from the down and run to me, and all I said was a low-voiced "ah-ah" and he laid back down and held his stay. GOOD BOY!
Pinch made his debut in conformation and he too had a wonderful attitude, no fear and lots of enthusiasm. It was a great day.
So I've been re-thinking how I train Moto. It seems he's a dog that does best with not training every day, which is hard for me to let go of. Also just quick short sessions when we are working a difficult issue. He needs to go with me to lots of places in a non-training situation to work on his self confidence. I think these recent tragedies have profoundly affected him and he'll bounce back once I do. So again, between my husband and Moto the Therapy Dog, I need to make an effort to be happy.
It's a Tuesday, so I don't need to go in to my Chamber job today. I still have my Welcome Wagon business to do, but I plan to spend my remaining spare time grooming dogs, training Pinch & Moto and then off to Pinch's Novice class this evening. All good things.
Dig deep, take a deep breath, and smile. It's going to be a beautiful day.

Out of Sadness, Moments of Joy

There's a big difference between Happiness and Joy. Happiness is still fleeting, but in my family's time of sorrow I've discovered many moments of Joy.
One memory I'll cherish forever - believe it or not - was several hours after Barry's passing. The funeral home had taken Barry's body away and Hospice had come and packed up the bed and medical supplies. Family and friends had come and departed, each into their own homes to deal with their grief. Janice and I were alone. She asked, "What do we do now?" to which I replied, "we eat ice cream." Chocaholism runs rampant in my family and my sister had some ice cream, I'm unsure of the brand or name, but it was extremely chocolate-y. We put on the movie "The Blind Side", put the tub of chocolate between us and our heads together, and quietly consumed it while watching the movie. It was a moment of such comfort and closeness it will burn in my memory forever.
With the passing of my uncle, I've rediscovered how precious my cousins are to me. We've always loved each other but we get busy with our jobs and kids and contact isn't as frequent as it should be. That's changed now. As children we always had Family Sunday dinners together so my cousins are more like brothers and sisters than cousins. Cousin Mike unearthed priceless photos while putting together Uncle Bill's memorial poster of us all growing up together. We'll be keeping much closer touch with each other from this point on.
All these events have made us realize how short and fragile our lives can be. I feel blessed to have a sister and I'm so glad we have each other during these difficult times. The same can be said for my cousins.
As Cat Stevens sang years ago, "we're only dancing on this Earth for a short while."
Might as well make it a good dance.