Am I Tool Old to Have a Crush?

I'm 55 years old and I have a crush. On a musician, no less! My husband knows about it and is not jealous. He just thinks I'm weird (which is nothing new, really).
Not since my teen-age years has this happened. When I first heard his song "Go Do" on the radio I had to look up the play list and find the name of the song and who made it. I was impressed. Then "Animal Arithmetic" came out and I knew I HAD to have the CD.
Hubby gave me the disc "Go" for a Christmas present. I listened to it right away and I have never stopped listening to it. I listen to it almost every day. His name is Jonsi, from Iceland, formerly from the ethereal band Sigur Ross. I can't get enough. I joined the Jonsi forum, where folks discuss his music and everything Jonsi. I became a member of his fan site. I "liked" him on FaceBook. I research him on YouTube. Yes, I've become obsessed.
We have a lot in common, Jonsi and I. He is a vegan. OK I'm not any more, but I get it. He loves chocolate. He makes his own vegan chocolate and sells it. I'd love to buy it, but sadly it cannot endure the overseas shipment and still remain fresh.
And that MUSIC. Never in my life have I heard anything more perfect. Never have I heard more joy, and in ballads never more heartfelt. I'm sickened that I learned of him a few months too late as he made his US tour and I missed it. There will be no world tour in 2011. I'm so obsessed by his music that attending a Jonsi concert has made my "bucket list" of things to do before I die, along with walking along the Great Wall of China and floating down the Amazon River. That's how much I love it.
It seems others are as fanatical as I am. Granted, his music is not for everyone. He's featured only on Indie music stations. However, you can hear his music in some commercials now, and in the movie Where the Wild Things are and on the upcoming foreign film Trumped. He's gaining recognition and I'm glad.
He's not a handsome guy, is blind in one eye, but what springs from his soul onto sheets of music is nothing short of captivating.
Here's a video of Animal Arithmetic - watch and see if you love him as much as I do.

Here's What Happened

As it is with all dog shows (in my case anyway), it was filled with highs and lows. Both boys were entered in Beginner Novice, which is a hybrid between Rally and Novice obedience. It's a great class and a perfect venue to show a green dog. Even this class filled and it was a very competitive class. On Saturday I got what I wanted with Pinch - he had attitude, no fear and a great time. Everything else needs work. A lot. But that will come in time. I was really thrilled with the pizzazz he put into his debut and how we train at home he brought into the ring. No "my dog works a 200 in the back yard" with him! Moto turned in a so-so performance and neither dog was in the ribbons at either show on Saturday. It was interesting to note that Moto did show a lot more confidence at the second show, however.
On Sunday it was just too much for Pinch. He was acting goofy before we got in to the ring so I knew things were going to be bad. Unfortunately our judge was the follow-closely-and-talk-loudly kind of judge and Pinch didn't want any part of it. Once we finished the heeling pattern I asked to be excused. My reason for entering Pinch was for him to learn the ring was FUN and this was not fun. I was disappointed but I knew entering him was premature, and he'll have plenty of time to shine in the future.
Warming up Moto - who was last dog in the ring - I was mentally pleading with him to PLEASE qualify and do good. It would be so nice to end the weekend on a good note! Into the ring we went and I felt it was a pretty nice run. However, I felt that yesterday in the 2nd show and we didn't place so I figured it would be the same again. Plus, the dogs that had been placing all weekend were in a runoff.....again. *sigh* I was still happy, though, as this was Moto's best performance all weekend. When they announced first place it was our number! Shocked, we stepped up to get our blue ribbon. Then the score: 198.5! The highest out of that class all weekend! I was just thrilled.
So our weekend ended nicely.
Moto CAN pull it out of a hat sometimes.
I'm already devising a training plan for Pinch to better prepare him for the ring. This will not be a bomb-proof dog and I need to prepare him as best I can so he can shine, too.
We are all very, very tired.
It's only 7:00, snow is coming in, so I think the pups and I are going to call it a weekend.

So, What's Gonna Happen?

Tomorrow is the Greater Kansas City Dog Training Club's Obedience trial in Gardner, KS. I'm impressed with the numbers - all the classes filled except Utility A and Open A - wow! A lot of the nonregular classes filled too. We came to the fun match tonight to set up crates and help run the rings and discovered lots of people are here for the first time - the Battigs, for instance. There is lots of talent here this weekend and while I'm slated to steward (when I'm not showing) in another building, I hope to sneak in and watch some great Obedience work this weekend. What fun!
Moto, Pinch and I have worked very hard. I'm really impressed with Moto and if he can just hold on to his self-confidence, I think he will turn in a medium-high performance in the Beginner Novice class. He is turning into my "steady Eddy" dog, someone I can always count on when other dogs falter. But we will see.
It's my belief I've entered Pinch way before his time. This is a dog who can be extremely flashy and high-drive. He's still too young, too green, and I haven't had enough opportunities to really proof him for the situation we will be in this weekend. It won't go badly in the negative terms, but he won't be competitive. His attitude is: "Cool! Look at all this fun stuff going on! Oh yeah, I need to look at you don't I? OK! Hey! Look over there...." and so on.
So here's my "goal" for this weekend:
I really, really hope Moto will do well. Well is defined by his being confident and enjoying his time in the ring. I sense he is finally maturing and coming into his own and while he'll never be a flashy dog, he is capable of being a consistent dog and doing some pretty nice work.
I would have loved to "wow" the judge with Pinch but it's just not going to happen. Not yet. So I hope he will try his best and that we have FUN in the ring. If he's just too silly I will pull him for the weekend as I don't want him learning any bad habits. I expect the occasional head drop, some crooked sits and his front not to be perfect, but as long as he is enjoying himself, then I'll keep him in.
Our Beginner Novice ring is in a separate building away from all the noise and excitement of all the rally and regular classes which is a perfect situation for green dogs. A good way to have a start, I say.
So, what's gonna happen?

Cutting the Cable

We are getting our financial life back on track after hubby's 14 month unemployment stint. He has a job now - a good one - but it's not near what he used to make. See, his former employer tempted him to move here by letting him not only keep, but make a bit more, of his California salary in the Midwest. This allowed us to buy our beautiful home on 5 rolling acres and me to leave the daily grind and find my part-time job. I was able to spend the income from my job solely on the dogs and doggie activities. It was a good run, but as it's been said, All good things must come to an end. Fortunately for us he was given a retirement package, which we lived off of as he searched for new work.
It took some time, but he's back and working again, and very happy at his new place of employment. But now we needed to have The Talk. One couples (at least the ones I know) don't really like to have - the Financial Talk. We went through our bills. We arrived at how much I needed to contribute towards our keeping us afloat. Ouch, that hurt. Gone are agility lessons, tracking lessons, obedience survived as did herding. Those days of campaigning anywhere I can are gone. But I digress.
Even with all that, we still needed a bit more trimming of the fat. But where was the fat? Oooooh, it's there. Our satellite service. Access to hundreds of channels. Do we like it? Heck yeah! Do we NEED it? *sigh*. No.
I must say I admire Erik's sacrifice. This man is a confirmed TV fanatic, and a lover of the Fox News network. This was a biggie for him. But he made the phone call, and BAM! It's gone.
We are down to only one working TV, and just the regular channels. I thought life would be miserable but you know what? I love it. The house is quieter. I didn't realize how much time we spent apart in the house, as I'd escape to other parts of the house to get away from the blaring TV. We discuss and arrive at compromises on what to watch, and we watch TV together. And really, there's nothing we HAVE to watch, so when there's spare time, it's spent doing other things. There's that reading thing. Or that listening to music thing. Or - imagine this - just talking! I didn't realize the full intrusion of TV into our lives and the impact it's made on our lifestyle. I'm really glad we've scaled way back.
We're doing just fine, thank you, going back to The Simple Life.

Remembering My Dad

My dad was born March 8, 1930. He would have been 81 this year. However, we are coming up on nearly 40 years since he passed from brain cancer. I think this birthday is particularly poignant as Barry is gone as well, far too young, also from cancer.
My best memories of my dad was his voice. Andrea Boccelli brings me to tears as his voice is similar to my dad's. And his whistling! It was absolutely beautiful, perfect and melodious. My dad would sing to us while we were in the bathtub. The gift he gave me was my love of music, and to hear as much of it as I could. My sister inherited his beautiful voice.
I remember the day I had the premonition. We were at the annual parade in Santa Rosa. My dad put his hand on my shoulder, and it went through me like an electric shock. I knew we were going to lose him soon, and it would be on Christmas day. I began to cry. When asked the reason for the tears I kept my fears to myself and said they were tears of happiness.
The cancer struck when we were in high school. He was given only six months to live, but he fought bravely for two years. My time in high school was a blur as our family struggled with him to battle this disease. I remember telling my mother of my premonition years ago, and how I was afraid. She said she was afraid, too.
My father died in my mother's and my arms one dark and cold Christmas morning in 1975. It was that day I truly learned of life beyond this one: as he passed, there was a gathering of light within his body. It was like a huge bright ball of energy and moved rapidly from his chest to his face, which glowed for a moment. Then, upward, in a puff of smoke.
My mother's first words after he passed were: That was beautiful.
Then, the drive back home: everywhere cars darted about on the rain slick streets, filled with presents and smiling faces. I looked at my mother's face, and she was in shock.
I liken the loss of a loved one like losing an arm: you can and do manage to go on, but you'll never be the same without it. And so it was with this first and profound loss in my young life.
My mother remarried a precious, wonderful man whom I love as a father. What makes him even more special is he made her happy again. And, with time, we were able to put up a Christmas tree. There are still times Christmas music will bring a lump in my throat. There are also times I'm angry for all the life passages he wasn't here to witness: my wedding, my daughter's birth. The unfairness of it all has never left me.
I always wonder what life would had been like had my dad been able to finish his life here on Earth - how many more people would have have touched, what other contributions would he have made. He was a brilliant man and was beloved by many people. And now my sister's children will be left with these same unanswered questions. Those who have lost loved ones well before their time ponder these same questions I am sure. But at least we have our memories, and unlike my Dad's physical presence, they cannot be taken away.
I am blessed and grateful for the short time I had my Dad. I just wish there had been more.