Thursday, January 14, 2010

Trying not to panic

We are now in the countdown hours until we get the "verdict" from the doctors, which will be at 2:30 Midwest time tomorrow. All tests are done and now all we can do is just wait. It's easy on my part, and even then, I'm fighting off panic attacks. I can only imagine what is going through my brother-in-law's mind and my sister. Is it good news or bad news? Well, none of it will be good. We know the cancer has spread. We just don't know how far or how bad. Is there going to be a hopeful prognosis or a "get your affairs in order" talk? How terrifying. By this time tomorrow, we will all know and then we can make some sort of plans according to whatever the doctor says.
I worry for my brother in law, of course. He's been my brother-in-law for almost 30 years. He's a good guy. I worry mostly for my sister as we're extremely close and always have been. And I'm far away from her and this is making me insane. I worry for my brother-in-law's parents. I would not want to be in their shoes. No parent - regardless of their child's age - should be put in this position.
Maybe a sleeping pill is in order tonight as I need to be insanely busy with something or my mind just goes back to this awful subject.
Think positive and if you feel inclined, please pray. We'll take every "good vibration" we can get.

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