OK, Scrap That

..but I'm not giving up yet! I won't give up. But, as with Blitz's illness, I think my life-lesson with Moto is accepting him for what he is, and being thankful for that. I'm alluding to the fact that in spite of the most delicious chicken being dangled just in front of his nose, Moto can NOT focus even on that - no matter how hungry - in order to keep his head up and heel. He really, really needs to look around. He knows it's wrong to look away and rather than try to work through it or deal with it, he shuts down. Even with the gentlest of corrections.
I revisited my Moto heeling problem with Kathy and she agreed with me that I should just teach heeling and not worry about attention heeling. He just can't do it. I'm disappointed but fussing over this I'm losing ground and time, and we need to move forward. I think if he moves forward with "just" heeling his confidence will build and I'm hoping over time he will look at me while heeling. So....we have a new tack and will try it soon.
I doubt it will be today but who knows? This morning I was surprised to awaken in a tremendous amount of pain, the most I've had in a very long time. I'm sure it's weather related as I've done nothing or eaten nothing different and am under no unusual stresses. As I move I can feel the scar tissue pulling at the muscles in my ankles and left arm. It's constant and I have a lump in my throat as I want to cry but am just toughing it out. Anyway, moving around more than I absolutely have to is not on my agenda today. Thank goodness it's a Saturday with no commitments!
So I'll laze around, with the TV on, praying for the safety of our Hawiian friends and everyone affected by this ghastly earthquake and tsunami. My problems are not even "problems" in the scope of this disaster.
On a much lighter note, come this spring it may become SIX dogs and a blonde. There is a soon-to-be litter of pups from a sire & dam I've much admired for years now. Since I'm not really in the market for another puppy I can be extremely picky. However, if that one special pup is in there, even though the timing isn't good, I think I may go for it. I've passed on several outstanding prospects in the past and am still kicking myself for it. I won't do THAT again....better to be too busy than not busy enough!

The Education of Moto

We've had yet another snowstorm. I do love the snow, especially when I don't have to go out in it. The storm happened Sunday so Erik and I snuggled in the house, sipping coffee and watching it come down like crazy. Everything is beautiful as you can see from the pic. However it is 13 with a single digit wind chill. Roads are icy. Getting Moto out is not going to happen.

But what did happen was a phone call from my friend and talented trainer Laurie. I filled her in on Moto's skittishness and as usual she had a great idea. Oh how I wish I was a "think outside the box" person but alas, I lack that talent. Thank goodness I have friends who can do so. Laurie is one of them. She asked careful questions on my training, his reactions, and how I deal with it. She provided some excellent insight into the fact that while I was asking more from Moto, due to all his sensitivities he is not able to deliver what I want. So some conditioning training/backchaining may be in order. Her suggestion is to go all the way back to puppy heeling where something really delicious is right in front of him while he is heeling. I will be off to the store to get some yummy cooked/cubed chicken for this exercise. That way he gets a good association (oh boy, a new place! That means I get chicken!) and he gets to succeed at what I'm asking of him, which is to keep his head up. The idea is the chicken lure will be so strong he will desensitize himself as he is so keen on focusing on the food just out of his grasp.

I cannot wait to try it, but from looking at the weather reports it may be next week. Until then, we'll do "the usual" training - fronts and finishes always need work. Well, EVERYTHING needs work so we won't be idling until it warms up.

One Year Ago Today

I'm at the one year mark since the car accident. Rather than focus on what happened then, I will reflect on what is happening now. I'm glad to be the Old Me again, but I have definately changed, mostly for the better. This is my second time cheating death. Seems to me I have had more close scrapes with the Grim Reaper than the average civilian. A lot went wrong to cause the accident but a lot went right as well. So many tiny changes could have been catastrophic. Again, as when I escaped the workplace shooting, I realize how we are lucky to be alive each and every moment, as the next one can be taken away in an instant.
What's different with this most recent escape from death was the recovery. Such simple things like tucking in my shirt became a priviledge. When you can't do it for the longest time it becomes a triumph when you can. Waking up in the morning pain-free is another delicious pleasure. Just being able to be ME is a very recent pleasure. No more depression swings. I can now go through my life just like I used to without any cobwebs from the past attacking me.
Another good thing that happened was my newest Heart Dog, Moto. My eyes are misting up thinking about this. When Erik brought me home from the hospital, this young dog showed that he has empathy, an emotion a lot of people think dogs are not capable of. He was ecstatic but unlike the other dogs he did not try to jump up. During my recovery he was gentle and never pulled on his leash. We got to develop the very special bond that will carry us through the rest of our journey together. I still don't know how he will do in Obedience, but because of our strong bond I know he will give it his best. No matter what happens I know that this dog is going to be my Right-Hand Dog and steady companion as long as we both shall live.
I discovered how lucky I am to have Erik my husband. He was brave and strong. I needed that. He supported every triumph and consoled me when I didn't succeed. Our marriage is definately a lot stronger and better since the accident. He's the love of my life and I am truly blessed to have him.
Financially we may not be better off but we still have a roof over our heads and food in the 'fridge. Overall, one year ago today, we ARE better off, and these life gifts we possess are priceless. I am grateful for this beautiful life!

It's not Fair to Compare

Last night was our Open class. I love going there as the set-up for training is ideal - lots of distraction, a loose format, as well as helpful suggestions from the teacher. We arrived late (thank you, clogged I-35) so missed the group heeling - DRAT!. But we did some attention heeling while others worked the various Open stations. Moto is really understanding that he needs to give attention, even when he is worried. I need to continue to be diligent and work hard on this daily.
As usual, I found trouble with ME. In our class is a talented OTCH trainer with her Terv. We compaigned together for our respective OTCH's a few years back and are pretty even when it comes to our training and accomplishments. But now, we are uneven. As I watched her and her talented young puppy I felt awkward with myself and Moto. In her presence we looked like an A team. Her pup (just a few months older than Moto) is far advanced in her work and was performing beautifully in all exercises. I found myself envying the dog's drive and work ethic. Her problem was keeping the dog toned DOWN, while I have the reverse problem.
Then I remembered my first trainer all those years ago with Dusty when I compared him to another Sheltie. She came down on me hard and said "it's not fair to compare! Train, don't complain!" You know what, she was right, and that statement holds up today. Rather than watch with envy (and Moto is sensitive enough to feel that negative energy) I focused on him, encouraged and praised all good efforts and the result was Moto brightened up a bit. Most impressive was when he was on a down awaiting the up-sit signal for Utility when a rottie came into our area retrieving a wayward dumbbell. Moto was worried but he held his position. Good boy!
I need to remember my trainer's statement for the rest of our career. Moto is a dog that when he learns it, he'll retain it, and if I can be a good enough teacher this could be a remarkably consistent dog.

Workin' Hard

Since I've been feeling GREAT these days Moto and I are hitting the training every day. I'm managing to find 15 minutes here, 1/2 hour there, and get him to different places to work on his attention. I'm not seeing much improvement yet (it's only been a few days of consistent, daily training) but I do think Moto is getting that I am expecting this from him. He's still spooky in new situations but his recovery time is faster. He also needs to meet more people on a consistent basis, so when time allows it's off to the shopping centers where people will want to pet him.
Yesterday was my day off so we made the trek to the dog training club to work on some fundamentals that take a lot of space: directed jumping, go-outs, broad jump, retrieve over high, you get the idea. With no distractions I'm able to focus on what I expect from him and he is able to receive the message. Because he is a lower-energy guy I insist on a jump when he returns to heel and a run out and back on retrieves. It would be awesome if he can deliver same in a show situation, but if he's nervous I know that exercise will slow down and if it's from a run to a trot, that's much better and keeps us competitive over a walk-in. Time will tell.
The clock is ticking on our Rally Novice debut. I probably won't pull him as it's our club and it's in my back yard. From there I can assess whether we need to train or if he needs continued show exposure. I hope it's the latter, but with that goal in mind I need to walk a delicate line. What I don't want is for Moto to have a bad experience, and what I don't want is to push him too hard. What I do want is for him to have a great time in the ring and realize we are a team. It sounds a lot easier than it is, and I need to be diligent in my training and watching how he responds.

Rebirth of the Old Me

I am SO GLAD to be able to write that title header for this post. Since the car accident I haven't felt like "me" for a very long time. This Friday will be the one-year mark and it's been quite a journey. First of course was the physical recovery, which was far more difficult and took a lot longer than I ever could have imagined. If you really want to recover from a serious injury it is a lot of work and you have to try really really hard, and do it often.
Then there was the mental recovery. I did have a very bad concussion. I was told a speech pathologist would come and test me every day to see how scrambled my brains were. I only remember the day I passed her test and was able to get out of ICU. Like the deep bruises on my arm, I believe my brain took a longer time than expected to recover, too. There had to have been quite a sloshing of grey matter when I hit the driver's side window and shattered it at 65 mph. Hardest has been the emotional recovery. Now that I seem to have my old body back and working pretty much the way it used to and my brain is back up and running at its usual pace, bits and pieces of the accident come back to haunt me. Just little snatches of a very terrifying time. The past few days I've been remembering the extrication and my hands are shaking just writing about it. It seems as if they peeled the door back like an orange to get to me. That is what I'm remembering anyway. It's not a very pleasant memory. When I read the accident report it talks about how I complained about so much pain - my head, my shoulder, my legs. I don't remember any pain at all. The body and mind are so amazing in that they allow you to deal with only what you can handle. So it's doling out these bad memories in tiny bits for me to process and put aside. I'm very grateful for that.
But most of all, I'm grateful to be "me" again. God blessed me with a magnificent, fully-functioning body and I'm able to have it all back again. And while I'm not brilliant, I at least have a "normal" brain and am capable of returning to all my hobbies and interests again with the same passion I had before.
Lots of powerful lessons learned on this very scary journey. Who ever would have thought that just being "the old me" again would be the greatest gift ever and fill me with such joy? But here I am, saying just that, and my heart swells with happiness!

That Kind of Dog

I've been hearing that phrase a lot lately, in reference to Moto. "I've had That Kind of Dog", or "when you have That Kind of Dog".....unfortunately it's not a great Kind of Dog. We've had some pretty poor training sessions lately, sub-par performances in class and in fun matches, and Moto's been very unfocused and skittish. It's not been fun. Sad to say, the jury is out on whether or not he can attain an OTCH. I always knew from the beginning that Shiloh would get an OTCH. Even at our very lowest moments I knew he would do it.
But Moto is an entirely different case.
I have five dogs, but Moto is the only one who is healthy enough to train and show. Oh, how I wish he had drive! But Moto is Moto and drive is not one of his characteristics. He has lots of other great attributes though but they aren't attributes that will shine in the ring.
The weather is warm today (35 is warm in a Midwest winter) so I decided to take him out to a quiet shopping center to work on attention. There's the occasional car and shopper but not a lot. It was perfect training conditions for what I needed. It didn't go well at all at first. A shopkeeper came out to admire Moto (being gorgeous is one of those gppd attributes) but he was too nervous to accept food from her. Later on he relaxed a bit so when another admirer approached he accepted the petting. We really couldn't heel, so we just worked on focused attention and a few steps with focused attention. This was broken up between a bunch of other stuff - doodling, signals, fronts & finishes to help relieve his tension. That and some fun play. Finally, finally, I saw his jaw part and a smile come to his face. Another attribute is he makes his feelings very clear: he just needed to know what I expected from him. Once he "got it" he turned in some nice attention. No, nothing complex but he could doodle and "get close" and straight lines very nice. I let him know I was very pleased with him and he basked in that. That is his best characteristic - he cares what I think, and since I was pleased he was pleased too. We ended on that happy note. The weather is supposed to turn very cold again but I intend to capitalize on every good weather day I have. We won't be making any progress unless he can get out more.
We'll end the day with what I cherish most about Moto - his very best attribute - and that is cuddling and snuggling. Next to Dusty he is the BEST cuddler and his large size makes a wonderful pillow!

HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY DUSTY!!!

Here's one of my very favorite pictures of Dusty and I. He was just 5 years old at the time, and it was the 2000 Sheltie Nationals. That picture still brings a lump to my throat as it really says how I feel about him and his general demeanor is beautifully portrayed.

Dusty has a special place in my heart as he is the first dog I had, almost 20 years after the death of my childhood dog. I'd gone through a divorce and was a single mother and while my heart ached to have another pooch I knew I didn't have the time to be a good "mom". Once my daughter graduated high school and I purchased a townhome with a small back yard it was time. I learned a lot about getting a quality dog from a reputable breeder vs. just getting a pup from the local paper. And, I was VERY lucky to have found Dusty - serendipity was at work with the events that followed that led me to him. He was - and still is - the perfect Novice A dog for a green handler, he has always been cheerful, unflappable and never had a single training issue. Together we learned Obedience, Herding, Agility and Tracking together, all for the first time. I believe the soul of my childhood dog Sunny lives in Dusty as he has many of the same mannerisms. The story of how these two lives are intertwined is featured in the book "Tails from Beyond" . Here is the link: http://www.tailsfrombeyond.com/index.html

Because of Dusty, I've learned much more than how to train and show in the various venues - I've learned good sportsmanship, humility, patience, and a plethora of other life lessons. He truly brings meaning to the statement "Dear God, please let me be the person my dog thinks I am."

Happy Birthday, my Heart Dog!

The paperwork is IN!

Moto is entered in his very first obedience trial. Well OK it's Rally, and Rally Novice at that. It will be our Dog Training Club's show, end of March. Moto is going to have a LONG Rally career as this guy really needs seasoning and lots of positive ring experience, much more so than any of my dogs have ever needed.
He's been less than impressive the past two weeks at obedience class, particularly in the attention heeling category. This is largely due to the fact that I haven't gotten him out there like I should have. I'm going to blame the weather. It's not fun heeling when it's 18 degrees outside. Last night at class Moto seemed tired. What little energy he possesses drained rapidly and he was unimpressive most of the night. Having a "flat" dog is not fun. He's at the point where he needs to step it up a bit - and I need to be extremely careful in not over-correcting - because he needs to learn he HAS to work and he HAS to try, even when he doesn't feel like it. He did OK with this but I could see he still has a puppy brain and it was beginning to fry so we knocked off early last night. He did his sits and downs just fine, thank goodness.
But he oh so redeemed himself this morning - one more reason why he is my next Heart Dog:
we trained this morning and then I let the pack out to get some exercise. We played ball, we ran around the fence, we threw frisbees. All dogs were having a blast but poor old Dusty, no matter how hard he tried, just couldn't get to a toy first. He started to give up and then Moto came and invited him to play, just with him. He was so gentle with him and let Dusty "lead" and be the Chief Chewer and let himself be the Chewee. It was heartwarming to watch.
So warm thoughts began my day. Snow showers to come later on. Better plan more indoor games *sigh*.