Moving Forward

I received a thought-provoking article written by a club member for publishing in our club's newsletter (I'm the editor). It's about being stuck between grieving for a beloved dog with whom you accomplished a lot and beginning again with a new dog. The person writes that the Fire in the Belly, the excitement, is pretty much gone for now, but they hope they'll find it again with the new pup.
I've heard that a lot lately from other folks, too. I'm glad for this article as I think a lot of people will relate to it.
Maybe it's our age. All of us have already had and lost our very first performance dogs, and are now on to our 2nd, 3rd or even 4th dog. And everyone I've spoken to, it's the loss of that first dog that is the hardest.
I definately can agree with that. While losing Shiloh - my dog who handed my my OTCH dream - was tragic, I seemed to be able to move forward with my training and showing. Not that I didn't grieve, mind you. Maybe it's because I have his son Moto that helped me through that hard time. It was losing Dusty that completely knocked the wind out of my sails. Moving through this grieving phase has been harder and longer. I'm not as emphatic about training. It's been a very difficult, sad part of my life, moving forward without my Dusty in it.
So being "stuck" is a very easy place to be in. Grieving is such a personal thing and everyone moves through it at a different way and pace. Losing two dogs so close together has made it very hard. When they all were alive I enjoyed having six dogs. Now I realize that, if life goes in its normal progression, I'm going to have to say good-bye four more times. Having dogs is the best part of my life but it's also the hardest.
I'm slowly readying the computer room for that coat of paint. I think in a few more weeks I'll be strong enough to finally take down those ribbons, pictures and trinkets Dusty and Shiloh have won over the years and gather their life stories into containers.
Then, maybe then, that fire in the belly will return. I look at Pinch and know he deserves the very best I can give him. He's ready for many adventures.
Moto has taken over as Heart Dog and stands at the ready to offer his big fuzzy body for comfort. He's really, really good at it.
Life is for living and I have four dogs deserving of all good things. Dusty and Shiloh wouldn't want me to be sad. As my article-writer said, they look forward to watching their new dog's performance in the ring returning a smile to their face.
I look forward to that, too.