Fragile Thoughts

I've been meaning to write this for quite awhile, but never got around to it. Today seemed to be a good Round Tuit day, so here it is:
After the car accident I battled deep depression for quite awhile. So long in fact, I can say it's really only been a month or two that the cobwebs seemed to have almost entirely disappeared. You'd think I'd be jumping for joy that I survived the accident and got to keep all body parts working, but the fact is I had a black cloud hanging over me for a very long time.
It was extremely difficult going out in public for some reason. Just trying to be normal was very hard. My first trip "out" was an expedition to the grocery store - a nice safe place to act normal - and I love grocery shopping.
While going down one of the aisles a lady and her cart were coming from the opposite end. We both tried to maneuver our carts out of the other's way, but kept going in the same direction. I smiled at her and said "shall we dance?" to which she scowled and said "oh for God's sake!!!" slammed her cart the other direction and stomped away.
In mentally healthier times I would have thought "what a b*tch!" or said so to her, but in my current state it absolutely crushed me. I fought tears off the rest of the shopping trip, and the rest of the day.
Now I'm sure this lady was having a really bad day, was in a tremendous hurry, or a plethora of other reasons that brought on such an outburst. But since that day it's caused me to think how one person's actions can cause a chain reactions of other things that affect a lot of other people.
For instance, that day when I came home I was too depressed to do anything after that. I went to bed at 3:00 in the afternoon and left my husband to forage on his own for dinner. Had I been really unstable, it might have even caused a bigger reaction from me, as during that time I toyed with shooting myself just to make the mental pain go away. Thankfully I never got that far.
Did she think about her outburst after it happened? I really doubt it. She probably just went on with her day.
I remember my cousin making an eloquent post to an e-group shortly after 9/11. She lived in New Jersey at the time and could see the smoke of destruction from her home. Her message spoke of being extra patient and extra kind to the people we dealt with in our everyday lives - from the person to makes our coffee-to-go, to waving someone ahead who is waiting to merge into a line of cars, that sort of thing. Of making eye contact and saying "Thank You" with a smile.
I think what my cousin said back in those awful first few days applies to all of us every day of our lives. So please, when you go about your business and find your nerves on edge, please try to reign in unkind words and replace with a patient smile.
You never know the chain of events that could affect a lot of other people. You could even save someone's life with a smile. I'm going to take my cousin's words to heart and apply this to myself. I hope that I can make someone's life just a tiny bit better by perhaps just saying Thank You.